I dropped my baby off at "school" today. I've heard other working moms call day care "school," so I'm going to do the same thing because somehow it makes me feel better about it. It was insanely difficult. I've had a pit in my stomach for weeks just thinking about leaving him. I'd never been away from him for more than three hours. Yesterday, Aaron and I decided to stop by the place to drop off his stuff and chat with the ladies. It eased my nerves a little bit but not entirely. Last night was hard. I couldn't sleep. He only woke up once to eat (only once!) but I was up on and off for hours.
A few things that made it a little bit easier: My friend's 6-month-old, Cameron is there. Her older son went there too, and she raves about the ladies that work there. When we brought Neko in yesterday, I put him next to Cameron and introduced them. Cameron gave Neko a huge smile. Neko smiled back, and I thought, "Oh good! He has a friend." They just smiled and "gooed" at each other for a few minutes. Everyone needs a friend at school. This morning I stayed in the car, and Aaron brought him in for me. This way, I didn't have to cry in front of strangers. When I got to work, several of my friends asked how it went and welcomed me back. I was genuinely glad to see them. I'm glad I have friends at school who have done the same thing, who know how hard it is, who are there to offer words of encouragement.
The ladies said he did great, didn't cry much at all. He ate well, played well, and slept well. They all love having a new baby there, so he probably got some good attention. Thankfully, it's a very small place, run by our school district, so all of the parents are teachers, some even work in the adjoining school and stop by throughout the day. Somehow, I find this comforting. I was so worried about making enough milk for him to eat. It turned out to be plenty.
Admittedly, it was nice to be in my element again and to have a little bit of "me" time; however, the best part of my day was picking him up, kissing his head, and sitting in the backseat, holding his hand on the way home.
This is such a beautiful photo. He is beautiful. It's very comforting to read how nice the day care is and how well he did the first day.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing such a brave and helpful thing for your family Courtney. I remember the first time away from Oliver was miserable. As you might expect, it does get easier. And he will get so much from being around so many other babies. My sister's daycare sometimes sends her pictures of her son randomly during the day and that's made it easier for her. Maybe that's something that someone at Neko's 'school' can do for you, at least at first.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad the first day went well. There is such an intense bond with that first baby. Leaving them is hard. But knowing you both can do fine will give you strength to carry on. I remember my heart racing as I drove to pick L up 25 minutes from my workplace....that never went away. But the time at work became easier as time went on. You are brave and strong. Just keep loving Neko and more importantly loving yourself. The bond you have will keep growing. Love you both.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Michelle. It'll get easier, I know. And we are so happy that we've got all summer with him every year. It'll be our fun, special family time.
DeleteYes, you will have amazing, memorable summers. This summer was pure magic with our kids now that they are a little older and I am a bit less tired :) Loved every minute and I know you will too. Someday we can all camp our way through Spain!
DeleteYou know, Irena and I wish we had put Oliver in day care. Several people have suggested that his being a bit slow to acquire various skills is likely due, at least in part, to not being around other kids enough. We think there's definitely something to it. Neko will really benefit from day care. (Honestly.) And I can completely relate. I still rush home from work excited to see Oliver. (It's so much safer not driving to Boston. I would drive faster than usual on the pike).
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