breastfeeding and working. ugh.

I don't want to spend the whole year complaining, but I do want to document what it's been like to be a working mom while still attempting to breastfeed. Hard. It's been pretty hard. Trying to find time to pump at work is frustrating. My schedule is not conducive to finding 30-minute chunks of time that are adequately spread out across the day, since I teach three 99-minute classes in a row every other day this year.  Somehow, I've been able to make it work to continue breastfeeding.

**Some totally random recent photos that I love

He's always had enough to eat until one day this week. We think he had another growth spurt because he's just about 12 weeks old, and for two days in a row he ate almost every hour. On Thursday, I got a text message from his teacher saying that he'd gone through his entire milk supply by 1PM. I didn't get the text until school was almost out anyway, but it completely stressed me out. He had more than what would normally have been enough for an entire day. What the hell?

I rushed over to the daycare center as soon as school was out. On our hour-long commute home he started screaming bloody murder, and there was nothing I could do to get home faster because there was horrendous traffic on every single route (been using the Waze app). So stressful. Often times, I feed him in the car in the parking lot at daycare, which helps, but let's face it: an hour-long commute is a little too much for a 3-month old. I really wanted to wait until next summer to move, but I'm beginning to realize that we may need to pull the trigger sooner than later. We'll have to weigh the stress of moving against another 8 months of this horrible commute. We want to be able to maximize the time we spend with Neko every day.

My daily schedule looks something like this:
5AM: Wake up and shower while (hopefully) Aaron and Neko sleep in.
5:30AM: Feed the baby, change diaper, get him dressed and ready to go
5:50AM: Leave the house (together). We've been trying to carpool to save on gas and tolls.
7:00AM: Arrive at school. Aaron rushes to teach 1st period, and I plan my lessons, make copies, then pump before my first class.
8:45AM: Teach for 99 minutes.
10:35AM: Rush to the bathroom to pump, then eat, then back to teach until the end of the day (with no breaks!!).
2:50PM: Finally done teaching. Pump one last time, then head over to grab the baby.
4:30PM: Arrive home.
8:30PM: Pass out.
Repeat.

It's truly exhausting, I'm perpetually behind with my grading and planning, but I love this kid so much, it makes it all worth it. I cannot wait for our summers together. Right now, Saturday mornings are my favorite. We're all together, Neko's such a happy boy in the morning. We sleep in until 7AM, listen to music, drink our morning coffee, and enjoy being a little family. Sometimes we even run out for a quick beer at one of the local breweries. It always feels like such a big deal when we make it out of the house together to do something fun.

annabelle and a wonder week

The week before my mom's visit was a very difficult week. It was a "wonder week" (week 8), which causes babies to be especially fussy. Aaron said they must be called "wonder weeks" because you wonder how you'll ever make it through them. Neko had been crying an ungodly amount, and I was extremely anxious about returning to work and putting him in daycare. We were one big emotional mess. On a particularly difficult day, Aaron and I put him in the car and took him for a drive when he simply wouldn't stop crying. When we got back home, I found a big pool of blood (and some vomit) on the nursery floor.

We discovered that Annabelle had been poisoned by the apples in our backyard. I had no idea that apple seeds contain cyanide. Aaron rushed her to the vet and spent four hours there instead of going to back-to-school night. He sat in the waiting room for an hour, only to find out that he needed to take her to an after-hours clinic across town. Meanwhile, at home, Neko was still screaming. I finally put him into his car seat in the stroller and pushed it around the backyard until he fell asleep. I cried and picked up all of the apples off the ground, all the while thinking, "Annabelle, pease, please don't die this week. I cannot handle it. Not this week." What a nightmare.

Somehow, we made it through week eight and lived to tell the story. But I was reminded that Annabelle won't be around forever, and I want Neko to know how much she loved him.

Last weekend, Aaron cut down the apple tree. Neko napped peacefully, and I helped Aaron pick up all of the apples. I am thankful for my little family, including both dogs. Annabelle simply adores Neko. She licks him, guards him, and very nervously attempts to play with him. She is truly his first best friend.

neko's favorites: likes and dislikes at 10 weeks old

I won't usually blog this often, but I feel like I have some catching up to do. There are so many things I want to document!

Some of Neko's favorite things at 10 weeks old are:

Being held facing out so that he can see the world. We got a couple of great baby carriers, including this one from Brenda. We also have an Ergo, which is quite a bit bigger and fits Aaron better. I also have a soft carrier, the K-Tan, which he currently hates. He screams when I put him in it. Maybe that'll change. Who knows.

Putting his fist in his mouth... This is perhaps his favorite pastime.

His Kermit doll. He's liked Kermit from the beginning, probably because he's so bright and high-contrast. But let's face it, Kermit's just really likable. Who doesn't love him?

Speaking of Kermit, we played a Youtube video of The Rainbow Connection for Neko when my mom was in town. He loves music. He loves it when we play records, he loves it when I sing to him, he loves it when Aaron plays the guitar.

He likes being on his changing table. He stares at us, smiles, goos and gahs.

He loves Annabelle. He likes looking at her. She loves him more. I think she loves him more than any of us. She guards him and tries to get in a lick whenever she can. He and Penelope don't seem to care for each other as much, but I couldn't help posting these photos of the two of them because, hey, they are great photos.

He loves the skateboard on the wall (the one with the face) and looking at the dinosaurs on the shelves.

Finally, he loves it when Aaron does this thing where he puts his hand on Neko's chest and shakes it. He thinks it's hilarious.

**Can anyone actually watch this video with sound?? I'm going to have to figure out how to upload it properly...

Oh yeah, dislikes? Wet diapers. Hates 'em.

2-month shots and grandma terry

Neko had his 2-month vaccines a little late while Grandma Terry was in town. As most of you know, Neko was very colicky in the beginning, starting at around 1-week old. It was horrible for all of us. We discovered that he had acid reflux, and he was put on medication, which drastically reduced his colic. Thanks to that, the 5 S's, and simply letting some time pass, (getting older helps mature the digestive system), things seriously improved. He stopped crying for three hours at a time, and all of us felt a little more sane.

Although he'd been much happier, sleeping much better, and crying a lot less, the vaccines brought on his fussiness, reminding Aaron and me how horrible it was at the beginning. Thankfully, we had Grandma Terry here to help a little. Also, the fussiness only lasted a couple of days. Neko adores his grandma, and simply melts into her chest when she holds him. She has a very calming effect on him. She fell in love with him as well and cried when he got his shots (poor Grandma!). It makes me so happy that they already have a good relationship. It's hard having family so far away but nice that she's recently retired and is able to come visit us more often.

At his visit, we discovered he's grown a couple of inches and beefed up a little too! He weighed 11 lbs 6 oz. Everyone commented on how long he is. These comments give me a strange sense of pride.
He's also quite strong and very active. This kid never stops moving. This is something Grandma noticed right after he was born.

While she was here, we took long walks every day. The two things I miss most about maternity leave are the daily walks and playing with Neko in the morning when he's cheerful, smiley, and chatty.

We are all hoping Grandma comes back soon!

first day at school

I dropped my baby off at "school" today. I've heard other working moms call day care "school," so I'm going to do the same thing because somehow it makes me feel better about it. It was insanely difficult. I've had a pit in my stomach for weeks just thinking about leaving him. I'd never been away from him for more than three hours. Yesterday, Aaron and I decided to stop by the place to drop off his stuff and chat with the ladies. It eased my nerves a little bit but not entirely. Last night was hard. I couldn't sleep. He only woke up once to eat (only once!) but I was up on and off for hours.

A few things that made it a little bit easier: My friend's 6-month-old, Cameron is there. Her older son went there too, and she raves about the ladies that work there. When we brought Neko in yesterday, I put him next to Cameron and introduced them. Cameron gave Neko a huge smile. Neko smiled back, and I thought, "Oh good! He has a friend." They just smiled and "gooed" at each other for a few minutes. Everyone needs a friend at school. This morning I stayed in the car, and Aaron brought him in for me. This way, I didn't have to cry in front of strangers.  When I got to work, several of my friends asked how it went and welcomed me back. I was genuinely glad to see them. I'm glad I have friends at school who have done the same thing, who know how hard it is, who are there to offer words of encouragement.

The ladies said he did great, didn't cry much at all. He ate well, played well, and slept well. They all love having a new baby there, so he probably got some good attention. Thankfully, it's a very small place, run by our school district, so all of the parents are teachers, some even work in the adjoining school and stop by throughout the day. Somehow, I find this comforting. I was so worried about making enough milk for him to eat. It turned out to be plenty.

Admittedly, it was nice to be in my element again and to have a little bit of "me" time; however, the best part of my day was picking him up, kissing his head, and sitting in the backseat, holding his hand on the way home.

and so it began...

Neko's just about 10 weeks old. I've been taking and posting photos of him pretty obsessively on Instagram.  My mom is out here visiting, and she reminded me that I need to write things down to remember them. I figured a blog about Neko would be the best solution. We sat around and brainstormed about names for the blog. Mom said, "What about Lucky Number Seven"? I asked, "Because he was born on the seventh?" (Seventh day of the seventh month, actually). She said, "No because he's the seventh grandchild." "Really? Is he?" I hadn't realized. But she's right! And so it only made sense to include "seven" in the title.

Mom will appreciate the blog since she can't download photos of Neko from Instagram. And maybe Neko will appreciate the blog when he's older. I know I will. So here it begins, a blog about my little buddy. Isn't he beautiful?